Monday, October 18, 2004
Odac camp just over a few days ago. What a big blow and burden has gone. Overall, it was alright, but I'll give it a 6/10. I was the 2nd I/C. But i think i did badly. Starting was in a mess and at that particular moment, how i wished i could just stop and leave. I wished I had a choice. But what to do, I have to do it.
choices, choices, choices ...
Of coz, i'm not that bad and irresponsible person. I stayed on, living with fear. I was so stressed up, Jerry wasn't there as he has some OCIP thingy. Everything was in a mess, due to the change in schedule and the exact number of the science club people. Why are they so unorganised? I wondered. Anyway, luckily enough, Jerry came not long after. Without him, I think I won't survive. As for night walk, hopefully it was good. But I doubt so. success? Nah. I was the I/C because Mr Goh wrote my name down. damn, I was inexperience. How could he?!?!?
Argh. Nvm. It's okay. Afterall, it's over! It's done! Can't believe I do it. I did the briefing for Odacians about the night walk and it sucks to the core. I was like, gosh* Do I have to do this? In front of all of them?? As for the science club members, did the bloody briefing to 20 odd people, brief until my mouth was damn dry. And Mr Goh was at the side looking at me, how scary it was. I was so scared and afraid. I just... couldn't describe my fear.. Astronomy was fun, I enjoyed myself as I was interested in the night sky. It's so lovely. The stars, the meteors, the planets, the comets, the milky way, the special-ness.
Anyway, it's over. Stop talking about it! I think Jerry really did a good job, though he may think he didn't do a good job or feels guilty about it. To me, he's good. He's great. He has put in alot of effort and done alot for this camp, the preparation and the planning since months ago til the actual thing, I've seen him doing alot. Really. Really alot. And I really admired him lor. How I wish I could be like him. But of coz, I know I can't. I like what? shitx? I can't lead, I can't give ideas, I just can't do anything but just someone behind. Someone helping. Maybe I don't even help people. how sad that could be. whatever, don't wanna think about all this.. Reading Jerry's blog, it's kinda sad, he's feels so inferior of himself or maybe pessimist? he writes good poems? or maybe quotes.. I think he's a nice, faithful, sincere, loyal and caring guy etc. Someone who only loves the one he loves. Such guys seldom exists today. Except mark. Mark is also very nice, simply love him..
:: how I wish I could tell him that I miss him so badly.. ::
but I can't. I don't wanna give him a false hope. I'm unsure about myself. Right now, I just wanna be alone. I love my life now, so carefree. Anyway, I think the midi for my blog is cute. But it doesn't goes with the background or atmosphere. Weird, isn't it? I know how to play the midi on my keyboard. But not as good of course, and without the left hand.Tomorrow, I'm pon-ing school, how wonderful. Watching "Cool Guy" with Rachel, Jenny and Valerie!! Gosh* Song Seong Heon!!! What a hunk and good looking dude.. *Laughs out loud* Anyway, since i'm not going school early tomorrow, shall write some stuff later. Though my english sucks and my General Paper cannot make it, I still do write some nice things okay! Don't under-estimate me! But whatever I write, it might be sucky too. Hmm. Shall go do my bloody shit project work that's giving me hell! =)
Love, myself.
Love,
Sara` @ 10:44 PM
Sweet Nineteen! Complex. FLOWERPODDER. obviously blogger. Crazy.
SHE LOVES
herself.
her family.
Tze Yeong Kelly Kenn Roy Claryce Shafiq.
SAKURA SURIOPTO SKYLINE.
BFTs.
my darlings(TRSVJ).
to read blogs.
to shop online.
outdoor activities. sports.
MTV.
watching HK drama serials.
to play online games. Yahoo games.
music. JAZZ, oldies, love songs.
Backstreet Boys. THE CLICK FIVE.
her room. her laptop. her handphone.
Of all, GOD the most!
P.S Of course not forgetting
MING YONG!